Tuesday 11 December 2018

3 years 27 weeks - life took over for a while there.

Oh dear here I go again with the apologies.

It’s been 4 weeks - I AM SOOOOOO SORRY

What’s been happening? Well we did the good food show at the  NEC, I spent way too much money, I used Bob rather than trying to walk it, and it was a great day. Even drove there and back in the same day  sadly we didn’t get to catch up with any of the friends in the midlands because of timing and it being a work day.

Work has been seriously mad, so much going on, my early strarts are earlier and my days end later than they have in many years.

I have a new IV, he’s a good kid and loves sci-fi so I’m going to get to see lots of awesome movies that Gareth won’t go to see with me because he’s too much of an old man to appreciate them 😂

Today would have been my dads 78th birthday, it’s been 15 years since we lost him and for once I’ve not felt the need to try and choke down a bottle of  Newcastle Brown for it ..., he loved it, but oh my it makes me gag .... sorry Dad but I really can’t stand the stuff 😂

So Christmas is nearly here again, I can report that once again I have learnt bugger all frm previous years gifts haven’t been purchased, there’s not a single decoration up but the drinks cabinet looks epic  - sadly since we are off to do the great UK circuit with 3 dogs the cabinet will be spending the season home alone 😔

Christmas in Halifax with Gareths family and then off to Wales for a few days with Aunty Kathy, home in time for new year

I’ve also had my hair all cut off - I have short hair for the first time in about 20 years and I’m properly blonde again rather than a sort of ‘mouse’ colour with strategic highlights to make it less boring. It’s also so easy the take care of - wash and leave - i now understand why teenage boys prefer this look 😂😂😂

In health news - I’ve lost nearly 2 stone in weight in the last couple of months that’s 22lbs if you’re that way inclined or 10kg if you’re still working in old money 😎 I’m really proud of me for this.

Over the course of my adult life, my weight and I have had a very ‘up and down’ relationship - quite literally I’ve been every size between a 10 and a 20 on many occasions. I’ve tried every diet there is with varying success and enthusiasm.

Right now I’m simply following a very basic 16:8 fasting rule - google it there is loads of information out there - for 16 hours each day I don’t have anything with a calorific value and for the other 8 I have what I want but I don’t take the piss for me 11pm - 5pm are my fasting hours - I can sleep half of them which helps. During working hours I have black coffee and plenty of water to keep the hangry at bay

 a glass of wine, a G&T, a dessert or a few cheese and crackers is okay - an absolute load of any of these is not. Dirty Thursday dinner was chicken nuggets and French fries and I had a little chocolate later.

All things considered life is pretty fantastic Christmas is coming, a little calm and downtime will be very welcome over the season.

Again I’m sorry posts have been very sporadic of late, I’ve done such a lot of hours at work and when I’ve been at home I usually fall asleep after dinner. It’s getting better I have new team members on boarding and it will allow me to take a step back and concentrate on more strategic work than being too ‘down and dirty’ in the detail.

I promise to be less crap 💩

Wishing everyone an awesome time I will waffle at you all some more very soon

Much love

Wednesday 31 October 2018

3yrs 22 wks - New blood results and the price of not sleeping properly

It seems like I'm always saying sorry these days, I did post last week (eventually) but forgot to put the links in Twitter and Faceboob so I don't think many people saw it except those who have done the 'email me when there's new stuff' botton.
The full price of the damage to my back lugging the Whoppet out of the field, the agonising pain and discomfort came full circle this last week - the disrupted sleep brought me down with a cold - my bodies natural defence to lack of proper sleep is to give me a bad throat, snotty nose, a cough and generally make me fee like crap for 5 days.
Monthly bloods were taken a week last Friday so a good 6 days before I got grotty so they actully look pretty good for once - except the thyroid one - but the doctor has increased the dosage on my Levothyroxine and promised to get it under control.
As usual at this time of year I'm starting to vaguely acknowledge that Christmas is coming and I really should do something about that. As usual thinking about it is all we have done, Gareth and I had a specualtive chat about gift ideas for various family members over lunch at Pho in town over the weekend. We didn't actually agree on any particular plan or buy anything, but we talked about it - so that's better than the last few years I guess.
Dog walking at this time of year in the evenings after work is DARK ... very very dark, the dogs have neon light up collars, all balls glow and Gareth and I are wrapped up like arctic explorers with balaclavas, gloves, scarfs, thick coats, jumpers double socks, even Bella the Whoppet has a lovely warm snuggly coat to wear and we're all still freezing our metaphorical nuts off. Better get used to it because it's going to be like this until March LOL
In other news, we ordered another piece of furniture from Oak Furniture Land - usual delivery instructions of 'send on a small van - under no circumstances send on a 7.5 tonne lorry' - you'd think after last time and them makin  that someone might say 'oh shit it's them again' and not make the same mistake for a 4th time - wrong - once again a 7.5t truck parked up on the main road, 2 very grumpy drivers who've walked down the 200 + meters to our house and decided that they can't carry or push the furniture safely on a skate. Allegedly this is replanned for the correect vehicle at the end of the week - I will believe it when I see it.

So here we go bloods - a few blanks this week as I now get them online from my doctors and I couldn't find a couple of results.

Thursday 25 October 2018

3 yrs 21 weeks - The correct way to carry a dog log distances

Aologies for the absence. My only defence is I managed to injure myself quite badly and have been off my face on medication for a while.
Bella the 'Whippet' (and I use that term very losely - the 62.5% whippet is counterbalanced with 25% German short haird pointer) is really more of a Whoppet. Had a strop about leaving the park because daddy wasn't there, lay down in the middle of the park and refused to move. I had to carry her the best part of the park back to the car and have managed to not only pull a muscle in by back, but trap a nerve at the same time. Co-Proxamol at full dosage, Diazapam to try and release the muscle spasm.
It took me a week to even go to the doctors about it, my power of postive thinking to heal stuff failed spectacularly I've struggled to even function through the pain let alone be a more constructive member of society.
Things to note through this time
  • We've had the inlaws down for a visit, it was lovely to see them and lots of catching up was done and lovely food eaten.
  • We went to the comedy loft in Reading and saw Reginald D Hunter again and it was very funny even though laughing hurt a lot
  • We've had 2 dog emergencies, one with Winston nibbling the fur off his feet and legs which is now resolved and the second yesterday when Amber managed to get access to a new bag of dog food and try to eat her own body weight in dry food - she looked like she swallowed a football, there was much being sick, her arse falling off, uncontrollable flatulence - I'm hoping by the time I get home this will have lessened.
  • I've been signed off from the grief counselling sessions I've been having in recent months. I'm in a happier place now, it's never going to be alright about the number of people I've lost, but I'm okay that it will never be alright - if that makes een the slightest bit of sense
  • We had Kim and Lasse over for dinner again, a masterpiece of a combine come dine with me experience with lots of my lovely specility spare ribs to start, Gareth awewsome indoensian peanut chicken with egg fried rice (done properly not that wierd rice that looks like it has scrambled egg stirred through it) and then Kims amazing home made warm cinnamon rolls for dessert
Since then I’ve been flat out at work and what with a couple of weeks of crappy sleep because of my back ..... well now I’ve got a cold. I’m feeling properly sorry for myself, Gareth was crying with laughter this morning saying only dogs could hear my voice. After a bazillion gallons of pure honey and lemon juice the pitch has now lowered to Barry White but with a touch of baaaaaimg ..... like a sheep 🐑 I threw up 3 times in the field walking the dogs tonight but felt a lot better afterwards. 

Swings and roundabouts I guess by Monday when I’m back to work I will feel perfectly fine. In the interim I will banish myself to the spare room, the only beings in my house who will be kissed for the next few days will have 4 legs and tails. 

Tuesday 25 September 2018

3 years 17 & 18 weeks – Monthly bloods done and the price you pay for overdoing stuff

It’s been a funny old couple of weeks for me, apologies for the late post (faster than the last one though) the reason for this will become clear.

We did the ‘Royal Berkshire Show’ last weekend, very spur of the moment I went for Oxygen then popped home, picked up Gareth and Bella and off we went. Bob was on a half(ish) charge and the sound of the food hall was calling us.

Now in hindsight – taking the dog along was not our best plan. No dogs in the food hall (Kind of obvious really, and the whippet’s not passing for a guide dog any time soon LOL) We roamed for miles, I got lost and couldn’t find the car park. Fortunately Gareth remembered there had been a massive crane by out entrance so we made our way back towards it hoping that there was only one at the show. Bob was gasping for the last dregs of electricity in his batteries as we arrived back at the car.

All in all, along with shopping, faffing around, doing some house stuff and a couple of very late nights, because once again my Thyroid prescription had not come back on time – I ended up broken. Missing a day of thyroid meds and the effect is almost instantaneous physical fatigue. In my case this means my legs turn to jelly, they literally shake – as Gareth so delightfully referred to it – they shake like a shitting dog L

I came home at mid-day on Monday and worked from couch for the afternoon. Randomly it really upset me to think I might need Bob at work – he’s supposed to be my fun friend not a work thing. On Tuesday I got over myself and got Bob out and went for it. It was all in my head, the day was fine, I even had some envious ‘damn that’s a bit nippy, can I have a go in it’ comments which made me laugh. It took me a few attempts to work out how to swipe a security pad and still be able to open a door, but I got there. Wednesday I took my stick in with me (yep I finally found it) but by Thursday I was back to normal again.

It’s Friday now, I’m working from home, the bedding is being washed in the background. It’s blowing a hoolie here, the local facebook group is full of people asking for the details of good fencing people and for once we’re not one of them thanks to the work we had done to get rid of the crappy old ones.

The weekend came and went, British summer seems to have morphed straight into Winter, it’s cold, it’s wet and there is frost on my car first thing each morning now L Blood results should be available shortly so I’m going to hold off hitting the post button until I get them (EDIT – sadly they haven’t been reviewed yet and this is over a week late to be posted so I’ll post this now and put results out tomorrow.

Today I’ve had to resort to Bob at work again after some epic walks between the buildings for meetings this morning. To be honest I don’t feel so crap about that today it just is what it is and life goes on.

Hope everyone is well xxx

Saturday 15 September 2018

4 years ago diagnosis week continues

15/09/14 11:42

The LP results have thrown up some interesting bits it would appear I've been fighting a viral infection viral meningitis and Lyne disease have been mentioned. Apparently it's treated like flu - go lie down and rest drink lots of fluids.
The CT scan showed a 'fuzzy bit' in my brain though so the MRI which is now scheduled for Thursday will look into that

YAY for viral meningitis :-)

Friday 14 September 2018

More realtime Diagnosis week from facebook

08:21 - Lumbar puncture in progress..... As I type :-(

(note this first attempt is when they hit the nerve for my right leg and I nearly Eric Cantona'd the head off the doctor who was 'supervising')

12:12 - Why am I waaaaaaaaiiiiiiiting, Whyyyyyyyyyyyy am I waaaaaaaaiiiiiiiting, Whyyyyyyyyyyyy am I waaaaaaaaiiiiiiiting - to get more paaaaaain YAY ;-) Streaming the Invictus Games on BBC iPlayer on the hospital WiFi. Still no sucessfully done lumbar puncture and they want me to rest for 5 hours once it's actually done

17:48 - Getting REALLY REALLY fed up now, at lunch there were 2 people in front of me for the anethesiologist and now nobody can tell me where I am in the queue. I'm tempted to just go home TBH I can feel crappy and take my own meds there as easily as I can here, but in better surroundings. Furious that BUPA closes all weekend and I can't do anything about this . I have an awful feeling I'm going to be here all night again because there is no organisation at all.

18:25 - Apparently they're on the way to get me. Here we go again, lumbar puncture number 6 of the day :-( *sob*

19:50 - Lumbar puncture count for the day is 8 !!!!! But it's finally done TFFT !!!!

23:43 - FREEDOM ...... well until the MRI tomorrow I have to be back at 10am. Good news, no blood found in what they took from the LP. Now just need the MRI to say whatever they saw on the CT scan that they described as 'shadows' is nothing and I can be happy to only have a 7 day migraine :-) xxx

It's quite odd reading all this back 'as it happened'. Odd in that I'd kind of convinced myself that I'd glossed over what was happening and made it seem less stressful than it actually was.

Reading it back I seem to be quite naievely thinking it's all a big nothing, although by submitting to 8 LP's in one day I was clearly taking it seriously too.

It's a bit like reading a book again, you know the ending but there are little things that happen on the path there that are new, and to be honest there are things that you 'hope' turn out differently - a bit like watching The Great Escape for the hundredth time and Steve McQueen is on that motorbike trying to jump the fence and you hope that 'this time he makes it' - you know it won't happen, history didn't happen that way, he didn't make it, he's never going to, but that little voice in your head still whispers in hope that perhaps this time it could be different.

Human nature I guess

Thursday 13 September 2018

3 Years 16 Weeks - Introducing Bob and the 'real time' - what happened during my diagnosis

3 years and 16 weeks

My profuse apologies for not posting an update for the last couple of weeks.

There really hasn’t been that much excitement to report, nothing life altering has happened, I’ve had a week off work (well if you don’t count the 3 half days I did for month end)

On the MS / Funky thyroid front, the second Power-chair demo on the Friday I talked about in my last post happened, it was great and I did make my purchase. ‘Bob’ as I refer to him is now in my car and available for use on the occasions when I want to do something and need to conserve energy. I’m getting used to his controls, doing a spin in place in a lift is still a work in progress, I managed to get temporarily stuck in a shallow ditch twice the first time I took him out with the dogs.

We went into London last week for a wonderful meal at Jinjuu, the Korean TV chef Judy Joo’s place. A day out which would normally have absolutely broken me, but Bob came along for the ride. Because the chair folds and is easy to lift (and I had Gareth with me as slave labour) getting on and off the train was easy, as was getting the park and ride bus into town.

The restaurant was just under 2 miles from Paddington and 25 minutes by bus (Theoretically this should be impossible and should take 4-5 minutes but it's london - Oxford Street - Bayswater ) we decided to ‘walk’ ….. it was pretty easy, a few ARGH where are the dropped curb moments, and one hilarious journey down a cobbled street which made conversation impossible because the vibrations meant I sounded like a sheep J BAAAAAAAAA - Oh and the chap in his car on Bayswater having a phone conversation with his windows down who was heard yelling at the person at the other end of the line that 'the woman in the electric wheelchair on the pavement is moving faster than me' - cruelly, I laughed, sped up and left him in the dust :-)

I’m still a bit under the weather thanks to a colleague who came back from a holiday in Ireland with what I can only describe as ‘the plague’ I’ve spent the last 3 weeks, coughing, sneezing, snotty and ears all bunged up. I’ve just got the cough left now, but ‘The Plague Monster’ as he is now referred to – well his name is mud J

This week is quite a momentous one in my MS History, I thought that I might replay some of my postings of Facebook in the weeks that led up to my diagnosis


Tracy Checked in At Basingstoke and Hampshire Hospital 19:05pm

Well they’ve ‘labelled me’ that can’t be good. Something went POP in my head on Monday. I was in agony, after 20 seconds it dialled back to full blown migraine. I saw the Doctor on Thursday and they said if it got worse to come back – so here I am at HantsDoc at the hospital – and they’ve attached a label to me


07:08am – I was rudely woken by a nurse gently shaking my shoulder, I frightened the life out of the poor girl by jumping and going AAAGGGHH – Don’t wake me without Coffee – That’s the good bit. Bad news is the doctor has been by and apparently – and I quote –probably been a bleed inside my head so they’re looking to do a lumbar puncture to confirm it – Scared but strangely my blood pressure has gone down so hooraah for blood pressure results, Play the glad game xxx
08:00am – I’m scared, it’s inside my headed that quite frankly terrifies me. We are supposed to be flying to Mexico 2 weeks today, what if they sat I can’t fly? Whats caused it, what is it? What is it doing to me other than making my head hurt like and absolute bastard?

12;00pm – They’re coming to do a lumbar puncture at shift change over and then a couple of hous of not moving and then maybe I can go home. The word ‘Stoke’ has just been used by the doc - Didn’t like that one bit

16:00pm – Lumbar puncture is now happening tomorrow morning, and no I can’t go home. Gareth had better remember to bring wine with him when he comes to visit later. He’s also bringing my old MRI’s from 1995 for them to review as apparently the whole brain tonsils wedged in the top of my spine thing might be a problem for the lumbar puncture.

Tuesday 21 August 2018

3 years 13 weeks - Powerchair freedom looms

3 years 13 wks

Sometimes you’ve just got to roll with it, and rolling when required is just how it goes these days. Like the acceptance that I was going to need to apply for a blue badge, and that I might not ‘want’ to do it, the acceptance that there was a ‘need’ for it even if it wasn’t all the time.

We went to a Thai Food Fayre on Saturday, not massive a park with some tents and food trucks, we did a couple of laps at best of the event but getting back to the car was so very hard, my legs had turned to water.

That we hadn’t done the weeks shop yet and I now needed to navigate Sainsburys settled in my stomach like a sick dread. Fortunately the shittest scooter in the world wasn’t already out (yes they have 1 and they hide it in a cupboard to discourage people asking for it)

So I’ve left a couple of messages with suppliers to have demonstrations of super lightweight folding power chairs give them a try. I need to understand how the work, how much thy weigh, can I fold and move these beasties unaided, will they fit in the car easily would I need to rearrange the dog crate to fit everything? Important stuff, project manager stuff, risk mitigation and all that.

Randomly, it’s less than a couple of hours since I put my requests through for a demonstration session and one of them has come back to say they have someone in the area today – he can be here within the hour with the model I’m interested in and I hadn’t even got close to finishing typing this update. It’s going to raise some eyebrows at an on-site demo at work with me bombing round the car park LOL …. But hey-ho why the devil not J

I went for my monthly bloods on Friday so results should be available later today or perhaps tomorrow – since it took an extra couple of days for my repeat prescription to be released, there is a chance my thyroid reading might have slipped back to funky world for a short time.

And another random one – power chair demo done – I have the biggest smile on my face, it made life so much easier getting around – going through doors and in lifts would require some practice, but then it’s not for use in the office – it’s about life. It goes nice a fast, I can wheel spin it by turning fast and doing 'do-nuts'. In my head I can hear Comander Worf from Star Trek as he declares 'PREPARE FOR RAMMING SPEED' and yes mentally I have already imagined blasting through the Oracle Shopping centre in Reading at top speed - with a Jousting Pole ......... there is SOOOO much trouble I could get up to :-)

Really expensive, but what price is my freedom worth? The freedom to choose and go where I want when I want, to not have to be the one who has to call it a day because my energy has run out, or just to not go and do something because I don’t want to be a burden on everyone else and take away from their day.

Got another company calling back to arrange a demo of another brand – home one this time – LOL that’ll be interesting as Winston really doesn’t like anything on wheels – push bikes are a particular thing he hates, a wheelchair is just a funky push bike as far as he’s concerned J (he has taken umbrage with a wheelchair in the past) I’m sure he’ll get over it quickly enough, especially when it means he can go on adventures to the pub again.

Apart from the funks motor stuff, life has been quite sane for want of a better word, not my usual mad whirling through a million and one things and reaching the end of the week spent and in need of a good rub down with the sporting life.

AAAAND it’s now Tuesday, I haven’t hit the post button yet, but YAY I now have my blood results, the usual suspects are doing the usual things, but it’s all good J

OHHHHH  and apparently the cost of power chairs is ‘flexible’ if you challenge them on the cost of the chair, extra batteries etc. J

Haggle boys and girls, challenge the cost and get a deal J

Hope everyone is fighting hard xxx

Monday 6 August 2018

3yrs 10 & 11 weeks - status changes and the steak thief

3yrs 10 weeks
An unexpected trip to the physio this week because I have managed to gimp myself (yes AGAIN I hear you groan) It would seem that I may have managed this by doing Pilates stuff – over extending myself in some exercise’s and my right hip is pretty much shagged if my I try to make any sort of rotating inwards motion – well I fall over in huge amounts of pain.
We had awesome tomahawk steak goodness on Saturday followed by a very disappointing chicken dish using an Ina Garten recipe on Sunday - her skillet roast Lemon chicken looks amazing – but taste wise it was nothing special at all – very disappointing that the flavor didn’t live up to the promise of the visual impact of the dish.

Poor Bella (endery) is still in the throws of her first season, poor Winston still seems the think that there might be something to be gained by trying to hump the ‘head end’ rather than the back end – which of course he’s far too short to reach anyway. Poor Bella keeps demonstrating on HIM what she wants him to do which makes him quite nervous. All in all it’s a bit of a Carry On sketch of a season because you just wouldn’t make this stuff up.
Work stuff is as mad as ever, we have invented 2 new status’ for projects outside the traditional RED AMBER GREEN

My colleagues and I have now invented 2 stages above RED for future reference (should you need it) the status above RED is Nuclear Sun Black – which for obvious reasons is – well it’s black
Above Nuclear Sun Black there is a subsequent stage of alert which we will refer to in future as Armageddon – for color reference Armageddon will be shown as Armageddon this color is more commonly known as turd brown J This accurately reflects the true nature of ‘the shit has hit the fan’ status that sometimes things end up in.

In some ways I use the same rating system for MS in both how I feel and what an activity will do to me.

·        Green is for nice relaxing stuff that’s going to be lovely and good for me.

o   Relaxing, cooking, sitting on a bench at the dog park in the shade enjoying the breeze and fresh air, long lie in’s and unplanned naps on the sofa with dog snuggles

·        Amber is for things that are going to take a toll on me and sap my energy which ‘may’ make things difficult later in the day

o   Work (LOL) doing the shopping, having to chase a disobedient beagle around the dog park because she’s pretending to be deaf and won’t come back to me, Pilates J

·        Red is for things that I know will exact a big price later down the line and require planning and a lot of Green time to recover from.

o   Going to the good food show at the NEC walking 5 miles with shopping bags and properly breaking myself,

·        Nuclear Sun Black is for some of the deep hitting personal situations we’ve had

o   losing people the emotional and physical toll that takes at times of stress, the things you can’t plan for that you just have to roll with.

·        Armageddon turd brown I guess I have yet to work out what that would be. I can’t plan for it I don’t know what would trigger this state of shit hit the fan MS reaction. Quite frankly the longer I remain completely and utterly oblivious of what would cause this state of play the better J
Randomly the term Armageddon also reminds me of one of those classic pieces of internet hall of fame things. An American Radio show – a number of years ago and a story involving A hamster and the Safe Word – Armageddon J This should be easy to find searching google for the words ‘Radio Show Hamster Armageddon’ – be warned this should NEVER be done on a work machine or in a public place without headphones – or even in a public place because people are going to think you’ve had a mental break or something J

So the use of the word makes me smile despite the circumstances J
So Pilates last night ….. this time carefully with some modified exercise’s thanks to the lovely Dan at Berkshire Physiotherapy Centre – I have instructions not to over extend to only do level 1 & 2 exercises – just because I can bend a long way I must not and that I’m to not overdo things – on a bright note my 8-10 reps of by exercises that I have to do 3 times a day – I get the day off J Yay J Last night was on the hilariously called foam rollers – which are more like concrete drain pipes. Gareth had a major service incident at work and ducked this week so I was on my own for the first time.

I think when you finally roll off the ‘foam’ roller – which in my case is a slightly less graceful dismount than a sack of potatoes falling off a shelf onto the floor J my back and shoulders feel soooooo good, like all the niggly bits have been rollered out of them – or it could just be that they’re incredibly grateful for no longer being on the pipe of torture J
Bugger It’s Monday – That Means it’s week 11 and I didn’t get round to posting this last week (really sorry – let’s just put it down to middle aged brain)

So another weekend – yummy Vietnamese food on Saturday at Pho in Reading – there’s just something about eating a Vietnamese Pho (Pronounced Fuh) that makes me feel like I’ve done something good for my body, broth, herbs, poached chicken, spring onions, beansprouts, chilli – it actually feels like I’m doing something good for my body.
Some dog walks, an awesome Tomahawk on Sunday – with enough left overs for a couple of days lunches for me – right up to the moment when Gareth turned his back on the bloody Whippet and the thieving little cow bag had the big lump of ribeye steak in her mouth and she was off down the garden like Usain Bolt with a big fuck off grin on her face chewing as she ran.

Needless to say my lunch plans have changed for the early part of the week J
Appendix to my earlier Status comments we now need to include a ‘Brown Smoke’ event:

This is when notifications are released about things in Armageddon – when they die this is communicated by ‘Brown Smoke’ (think the different colour of smokes during the choosing of a new Pope)
Brown Smoke signifies a decision has been made

A bit like Julius Caesar and the ‘Thumbs Down’ for the losing gladiator decision
Brown Smoke – very apt

I’ll stop now, much love from me xx

Thursday 26 July 2018

3y 9wks Month 38 blood results

It’s that time again, monthly blood test results are in (maybe)
Last week was a manic whirlwind of activity on the work front, I love my new job, it’s manic and crazy and fun, a few uneventful days wouldn’t go amiss though J

The weekend has been quiet with minimal commitments to attend to, strangely this seems to have wiped me out more than the busy ones though (probably just my body being in shock and having a bit of a panic that it got a rest J)
Pilates starts again this week on Wednesday, strangely I’m not actually sure if I’m looking forward to that or dreading it. The beginner’s class was okay but the last one was hard, not in a make you sweat kind of way but in a ‘sometimes it breaks me’ kind of way. If it’s going to get harder again I’m not going to be able to do it.

We’ve also hatched a plan for a holiday. We put our requests in today for a week off at the start of September. Gareth and I are hopefully heading off to Normandy for a week of sunshine, calvados, awesome food and dog walks around the D-Day landings beaches and clifftops. We are planning to take Winston and Bella as they both have passports. Amber is too old and not strong enough for that kind of activity level so we will probably see if we can get her into our day care lady for a vacation of her own.
It’s now Thursday, I haven’t actually got round to posting this yet. Gareth went to Pilates last night but I didn’t. I was massively exhausted I’d had to work from home during the day and I just couldn’t have got through it so I stayed on the sofa with the dogs and snoozed.

On the holiday front = we we’ve both put in leave requests, Gareth’s has been approved, mine is still pending. We’ve not arranged pet care or booked transport or a rental Gite. In fact apart from a discussion about it and looking at some properties online we’ve done bugger all to actually get our holiday sorted.
Anyway – scores on the door time for my July bloods. Netrophils and Monocytes are still all over the place but closer than they have been. Lymphocytes are being boring and staying pretty even. My thyroid is staying in the normal range and doing as it’s told (it’s even a little lower than in the past)
Anyway, it's pretty 'normal' in my world right now - I'm sure it won't last long
Stay well everyone xxx


Monday 16 July 2018

3 years 8 weeks - double update

Apologies for no update last week, work and life has been pretty frantic

The missing week -
First things first – I’m gutted I’m not in the menopause
So I guess we can all agree on one thing - I’m a bit weird?
Apparently 5.7 on the FSH test doesn’t mean I’m going through the menopause, Dr B laughed a lot when I asked about it being an appropriate level for someone going through puberty and his comment was soothing along the lines of ‘you wish’ ….. when we both stopped laughing I realised sadly I’m not going to get the magic patches which will make me feel like a teenage girl again L
In my mind - the patches were going to fix everything dagnammit …..
The others in my year at school have them….
They’re bouncing around like spring lambs and reliving their youth partying all night in Lanzarote and singing the praises of the magic patches.
Surprisingly when I suggested magic patches regardless to Dr B his response was once again ‘You Wish’ …. It wasn’t so funny the second time L
We had Gareth’s parents visiting at the weekend, much BBQ’ing was done along with serving of the trusty Tomahawk steak which was well received served with awesome peppercorn sauce prepared by Gareth. Lots and lots of talking and catching up, it’s the first time I’ve seen them this year (very rubbish I know). Wine was drunk, football was watched and generally a good time was had by all.
On the point of football, it’s not coming home this time. The youngest team in the World Cup (England) lost last night to the oldest team in the world cup (Croatia). An enjoyable game as an England fan in the first half, we bossed the game and went 1-0 up thanks to a great goal. Sadly a few more chances were not scored and at half time we didn’t change anything up. Croatia came out and for the 2nd half and then both halves of extra time the Bossing was all done by them. 1-2 to them in the end. I’m proud of our young new team and their manager, my expectations were low before this started and they have outperformed what I’d thought we would achieve. If the team and manager stay together and move forwards then in the next internationals and competitions they will hopefully go from strength the strength and become a formidable team.
So the decision had to be made for the final - France or Croatia?
Gareth and I have such strong ties to and love for France; they are our neighbours so I will be embracing our French ties – Allez France and all that J
The UK heatwave continues, our obsession with being unhappy with the weather continues, hose pipe bans loom to conserve water, weather reports allege rain showers will happen but they don’t come and everyone is having a good old moan about the heat J My latent ‘gingerness’ means I spend my time in the shade admiring but not participating in the sunshine, a good rain shower would be lovely but I’m enjoying paddling in the pool we bought for the dogs to cool down (they don’t seem to mind the taste of ‘hot people feet’ in the water J)
We had the week off Pilates this week as it’s between courses (and apparently the WI have booked the hall next week too, so it’s actually 2 weeks off) – I’m pretty sure that my body is grateful for this J
The last Bella training session is tonight, we’re being vigilant to continue this and try to pass this on to the other dogs as well. It’s working although discovering that because she’s a skinny racing snake Whippet she can actually get out through the cat flap yesterday evening was a shock when we found her happily sitting out in the garden on the padded chairs after we had brought her in with us J
I’m still loving my new job, it’s interesting and fun, mad and challenging and it makes me smile. It’s the best work choice I’ve made in a few years.
So coming, up ….
We have a lovely friend over on Sunday for a BBQ, as he’s Italian; I’m chickening out on some of my trusted favourites (since they’re a bit Italian and I can’t face the judgement) and going Portuguese with a Piri-Piri chicken and salad combo.
And up to date
Lunch on Sunday was lovely, we broke with british tradition and drank about a gallon of diet cola watching the match as everyone was driving later in the day, and France did indeed win the world cup - in part thanks to a couple of very dodgy refereeing decisions which VAR didn’t help with.
Work has been pretty frantic with me blinding myself with spreadsheet’s and plans.
Dog training has finished and Bella graduated her IMDT foundation course (although she was the class dunce in at least 2 areas)
Other stuff has happened but to be honest it’s all a bit of a blur and to be honest I don’t really think anyone reading this would care at all.
It’s Monday again, I’m back to work and I have a plan, I just need to crack on and make it happen.

Blood tests on Friday this week so more lovely results to be published next week.

Sorry for the crap update

Tuesday 3 July 2018


(if you're not me please just accept that I'm a little mad and delete this notification)

3yrs 6 wks - I have a NORMAL THYROID reading WOOHOO

Check out the new thing I managed to d >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
If this works (still testing see the post above) then you should get an email notification when an update is published *allegedly*


British people are insanely picky and like to moan about the weather (it’s almost an national hobby we whinge about it so much)
I’m not having a whinge, just loving that we are having ‘Summer’ like the rest of the world does for a change. Like our British reaction to 5 flakes of snow in winter though, we are woefully unprepared to meet what seems to be an ‘extreme weather event’ J

When I say woefully unprepared, in our case this means the aircon unit is currently buried in the back of our garden shed behind a multitude of things which have been relegated from our home, but are not quite at disposal status. The duvet is now in the bottom of the wardrobe, we are sleeping under a duvet cover only and to be fair if it weren’t for the night monsters which attack the bits that are uncovered – well that would be gone too.

Dinner on Saturday was lovely, so great to catch up with our friends. The ribs I’m doing for their summer get together were received very well as the starter and blessed as perfect for the summer do. Two tomahawks proved to be complete overkill – we didn’t even finish one between the 4 of us – they’re off to fill their freezer with them this week. The Lemon Curd and Limoncello individual cheesecakes to round off the meal went down like feeding time at the zoo …. Sixpence to watch the lions feed (after the meat coma that preceded it, that we had room left for anything was nothing short of miraculous)

Sadly 12:00 walkies for the pups at K9 on Sunday couldn’t happen, it was simply too warm and with the limited shade and risk of them running too much in the heat and making themselves poorly – risk assessment said NO.

We went and collected BamBam’s ashes on Sunday, very bizarre to receive him in the same floral tube that we got my brother in (a considerably smaller one – but the same type regardless) We aren’t sure where to put him if I’m honest, we can’t bury him in the garden for fear that the dogs would dig him back up. Perhaps scatter him around the front and the garden (probably freak out the neighbours). For now he’s sitting on the top of the bookcase while we mull over our options.

Randomly after many calls and much faffing around to get my Thyroid results for June the receptionist at the surgery read it down the phone to me when I was trying to book an appointment to have it done again ….. 2.19 – that’s back in the NORMAL RANGE WOOHOO I think – I hope OMFG that’s awesome news

I also really do need to understand more what an FSH (menopause reading) of 5.7 means – a quick google search of said levels seemed to imply I might be going through puberty J (which at 46 would be somewhat bizarre – and I remember the breakouts and the spots from last time, and goodness knows my boobs getting even larger would be nothing short of catastrophic – EEEK L) Low FSH also (according to Dr Google) can also imply problems with the pituitary gland or hypothalamus (interestingly pituitary gland problems apparently can also contribute towards HypoThyroid – according to Dr Google) I guess it depends how much you want to furtle around under the hood of that one – but the lack of ability to conceive throughout my life certainly gives a little gravitas towards the Pituitary being on the frisk. That’s one for a long in depth conversation with Dr B I think.
So apart from the worst hangover in living memory on Sunday (less said the better about that) the week has been entirely lovely and normal
Stay well xxx

Monday 25 June 2018


No suprises,
Neutrophils high (broken foot)
Monocytes high (but lower than last month so thats good)
WBC high (broken foot)
Lymphocytes a little lower (suicides after broken foot)

TSH hasn't come back yet - check again tomorrow
FSH (menopause) also not back yet - boooooooo - give me my teenage again patches LOL

3 years and 5 weeks - The anticipation is rising

It’s been such a busy week, so many things needing to be crammed into such a short space of time. Fortunately this was a week off Pilates, I’m not entirely sure the broken foot would have been terribly happy about giving that a go, so happy days for a week off. The foot by the way is so much better, my super powerful bone healing seems to have remained intact despite MS and Lemtrada.

Bella’s dog training last week was mostly successful, although some of the loose lead techniques seemed to contradict the previous weeks learnings and confused her greatly. Doing a lap of the room with a full glass of water in my lead hand and not spilling a drop was pretty epic though J

I’m eagerly awaiting 13:00 when I can call the doctors to get my blood results for the month. It’s quite bizarre after the last 3 years, to be excited about things other than the Lymphocyte count. So this months look out points are :

·        TSH – hopefully heading back in the correct direction thanks to the increased Levothyroxine dosage J

·        FSH – Menopause measure – bring on the ass patches that will make me feel like a teenager again J

·        Whatever weirdness the foot brings – OMFG – Just went back through my photographs to find last years broken big toe so I could look at the bloods for that month and see what went odd – CREEPY RANDOM THING – I broke my foot A YEAR TO THE DAY that I broke my toe – perhaps I should pencil in June 15th next year as a potentially suitable date for break number 19 J - Anyway back on topic my Neutrophils went a little nuts back then so possibly again this month.

I got my oxygen therapy in over the weekend, lovely dog walks and 2 BBQ’s one lazy lie in (Saturday I was wide awake at 06:30 L BOOOO)

In different and awesome news COSCO finally have Tomahawk steaks back in stick again. We have 4 sitting in the freezer now and Gareth thinks I’m going slightly mad. 2 will be used this coming weekend when the Chapper’s are over for dinner. Gareth will be making 2 awesome sauces to go with them, his ‘Better than Miller & Carter Dripping Sauce’ and a peppercorn sauce. My amazing ribs will be the starter and I’m toying with individual boozy desserts in pretty little glasses but I’m torn between something salted caramel and something lemon curd / Limoncello based. If this follows the usual food related decision path of my life, I suspect will make a panic decision late on Saturday afternoon J

I’ve been pretty slack on the diet for the last couple of weeks – not BAD – BAD just a bit naughty BAD so today I’m going to knuckle down and get back on it properly.

Cripes that’s just made me realise it’s 11am I’ve done umpteen conference calls and I’ve not had a cup of coffee yet L

EDIT : for those at the start of their journey, another Lem-Blogger I recommend you follow. The lovely Jo has just completed round one and is publishing her progress in real time.

Talk to you later alligators when I’ve got my blood results – I’m off to hit the caffeinated beverages shop – hard J xxx

Monday 18 June 2018

3yrs 4 wks - breaking my foot and my heart

Some days I wonder who I must have been in my previous lives.

I figure I must have been someone REALLY bad if I’m honest because I’m not sure what I’ve done in this life to deserve constant loss and heart ache - Perhaps Ghengis Khan or Hitler - it would explain a lot?

Something I didn’t mention last week was that I had BamBam-cat back at the vets on Thursday night, his weight loss had continued and he had stopped eating entirely until we managed to get pureed cat food in him on Wednesday night / Thursday daytime / evening. We knew his time was limited and that there were more sinister things going on (lumps inside in his tummy area)

We had hoped that we would have a few more weeks with him, but it wasn’t to be. On Saturday morning I brought him into the utility for breakfast and he simply lay down on the floor and wouldn’t move, when we lifted him he would cry. It was time. One last car journey on Gareth’s lap rather than in a cat box, lots of tears and cuddles, lots of we love you baby boy and we let him rest.
I’ve cried so many tears this weekend.
It was father’s day on Sunday, BamBam is gone and then there’s the broken foot ….
Yes you did read that right
The broken foot
My right foot is swollen, misshapen and quite frankly feels like tooth ache has set in
This injury happened whilst I was standing on my tiptoes trying to put the over the table brolly up in the garden …. I slipped off the marble base, lost my balance and STOOD ON MY OWN BLOODY FOOT…..
Yes you read that right too …….
I stood on my own foot and broke it.
I figure it takes a really ‘special’ (not a compliment) kind of stupid to do this to yourself (remember the last break when I dropped a dining table chair on my foot and broke my big toe??? ‘special’ ……)
I mean seriously – who actually does these type of clutzy injuries to themselves??
Perhaps I should just wrap myself in bubble wrap from head to toe and then stay in a nice safe padded room.
In different news – The World Cup has begun. After being quite ambivalent about it, I’m really starting to enjoy the continuous football on the TV. The shock results so far, Germany in a shock loss, Spain and their draw against Cristiano Ronaldo (or Portugal as the rest of the team call themselves) Brazil’s 1-1 draw with Switzerland last night. Tonight England play Tunisia – anything could happen given the other run of results. Bugger I’ve just realised I’ve committed to a drink with my old boss this evening – I hope the game is on at the pub.
So the weekends plans went out the window, no more work was done on the pot holes on the lane – I feel like I could do with a weekend to get over the weekend.

In different news, I ‘think’ the increased Levothyroxine dose might be starting to work, I feel less ‘old-fart’ than I did a few weeks ago in myself.

This month’s blood work is taken on Friday (along with the menopause test) so fingers crossed for a better TSH result, and if I’m honest possibly a nice set of patches to stick on my behind and then onwards and upwards to feeling like a teenager again (I think I can remember that far back)

Much love to everyone xxx


Wednesday 13 June 2018

3ys 3wks - magnesium experiment update

I feel I should really apologise in advance the mini ‘flurry’ of posts last week (well 2 of them) has left me thinking there’s not really anything even remotely interesting to report this week except an update on the thyroid / / menopause / magnesium experiment..

So far I’ve only tried the liquid form of the magnesium, my logic being because it is in a more absorbable form that it might have an effect more quickly. The Levothyroxine I know will take far longer to actually show some changes, although perhaps little changes in the bloods that are being harvested on the 22nd. It would be nice to see those TSH numbers dropping a little again they’ve been steadily creeping up this year along with that all important T4 number.

Serum Free T4 = 11.8
T4 11.3 PMOL/L (12-22)
MU/L (0.27-4.2)
T4= 13.2

So anyway interim results on the Magnesium trial – I feel better, I’m less tired, I have more energy than I did (but I’m not going dancing any time soon) things ache a little less, and surprisingly the twitchiness of my left foot has dramatically reduced - I would have said gone last night but it gave a couple of minor jumps while I was stretched out on the sofa I’ll stick with drastically reduced for now.

I feel brighter – sorry that’s a rubbish description but it’s the best I can do – perhaps it’s the sunshine, that I got a compliment on my weight loss, that I’m wearing summer dresses to work. It could also have something to do with some really great news I’ve received that I’m not in a position to share yet.
So tonight is Pilates, and the lovely Vicky is back and assuming there are no pipes of torture tonight that should be enjoyable, Bella’s back at dog training tomorrow, some dog walking planned for the weekend and very little else. Life is awesome and I’ll stop blathering on now and let you get back to important stuff.

Take care, much love

Yikes 2 posts in a month

 Who is this person who's actually updating Tracy's blog I hear you wondering .... 2 posts less than 3 months apart - surely I'v...