The pain in my head was excruciating, I couldn't bear light and the world had pretty much faded to black and white. The hospital thought I was having / had a brain haemorrhage.
A short time later they were talking about 'shadows' in my brain, it could be haemorrhages, it could be the aftermath of a number of strokes, it could be tumours or it could be lesions as a result of Multiple Sclerosis - randomly Door number 4 was the one I was hoping it would be......
The others could all be fatal - MS would be shitty, but it wouldn't kill me, so please let it be Door 4.
3 years on the MS Bus and it's changed my life in so many ways and in a positive way I think mostly.
- I'm a 'kinder' person than I was before I think - maybe.
- I've kept record going and I'm not letting up, I think other than being Gareth's wife that's the longest I've 'applied myself fully'
- I've met so many people with MS, talked to them, 'de-medicalised' some of the information about Lemtrada
- I live for the now, I don't put off anything until tomorrow or another time losing my brother taught me the hard way that sometimes tomorrow doesn't come
- I and less tolerant of people who suck the life out of the world, negativity deliberate weakness or laziness or the endless pursuit of 'More'
- I'm incredibly bitter that my family are all gone and I want to scream when people complain about the parents or siblings and the things they might say or do, I'd give everything I have for just 1 minute of them saying or doing the wrong thing, something, anything or nothing at all just to be there and not gone
- I pay attention to what my body tells me these days, I don't just ignore things and hope they'll go away. I google and try to self diagnose, but I don't ignore things any more and hope that they'll just get better
- I spend more time helping and doing things for others, something the old me never seemed to have the time for, now I make time.