Tuesday, 20 June 2017

Year 3 Week 5 Monthly Bloods, Broken Toe, Norovius and the case of the dissapearing Lymphocytes


The tail end (oh dear – the irony) of last week was certainly a game of 4 halfs (yes I know that doesn’t make sense and is mathematically impossible)
Mid-afternoon on Thursday it became very obvious that there was something clearly wrong with my ‘insides’ …. Well it’s TMI (too much information to those not Au fait with da kidz) but quite frankly my arse was falling off / out in a pretty catastrophic way.
Erring on the side of caution I decided to head home from work before rush hour hit so I wouldn’t get stuck in traffic (good idea)
Tara had been and cleaned the house while we were out and the house looked and smelled beautiful – the dining table chairs were upside down on the table as the floor had been swept and mopped (good idea)
I decided to turn the chairs over before Gareth got home and accused me of being a lazy mare (VERY VERY BAD IDEA)
Mid rotation of the first chair I lost my grip (clumsy not MS) and dropped it sideways from pretty much shoulder height onto my BARE left foot ….. CRACK – Broken Big Toe
Now the thing about a broken big toe (when it’s not actually bent off to the side or something) is there is nothing they can do really except tell you to be careful and not bash it around ……  so the thought of 3 hours in A&E while they told me it was broken (yeah I know that) and to be careful – not so appealing …………. So I iced it, elevated it and tried to be very careful whilst hobbling back and forth to the bathroom to deal with my catastrophic arse.
Friday the broken toe had turned really dark …. It was hugely swollen and the skin was stretched so thin it looked like a ready to pop spot – hmm ….. I remember having to get Gareth’s finger ‘lanced’ in a similar crush type injury situation looks like we’re off to A&E then – dinner time on a Friday appears to be an awesome time to turn up, I’d been seen by the triage nurse within 5 minutes of arrival and within 20 minutes was with the doctor …… they even found some nail varnish remover so they could get a proper look at the whole toe … yes it broken – no it doesn’t need to be ‘popped’ – yes I need to elevate it MUCH more than I have been – don’t kick any doors soon Mrs D … out in about 35 minutes start to finish (I declined a pointless x-ray to tell us what was stunningly obvious even to a blind person)
All things considered I can’t praise the Royal Berks highly enough (again) they’ve been awesome with me
So the rest of the weekend has been spent alternately with my leg raised above my heart or sitting on the throne with my arse falling off crying my eyes out because of the stomach cramps and ‘acid attack’ on my poor arse …. It’s ‘Norovirus’ for those interested – it would appear my hygiene OCD has had a critical failure somewhere along the line ……
But Hey the stairs are done ….. unfortunately it would appear plan A of putting the Amtico down might not actually happen as Winston-Dog is terrified of them – Gareth is having to carry him up and down to bed each night ….. Looks like I’m carpet shopping again this weekend … something bland, doesn’t show dog hair flat weave and durable is the ‘list’.
We saw the girls on Saturday night for Kate’s birthday (me not drinking and running back and forth to Kate’s bathroom – Arnica was handed over for toe bruising and Glucose and Lemonade for the arse situation …… (sounds mad but it didn’t taste crap and kept me hydrated so I did it)
As of 9.30am Monday catastrophic arse finally returned to normal ….. (thank divinity of your choice) so 48 hour count down and I’m back in general population again YAY.
In other more interesting news …. My monthly bloods have come back. These are month 25 ….. the first set of year 3 and well lets just say my eyebrows have raised for a number of reasons ……
  • There are some of my normal readings which are not coming back on the results (request made to the doctor to give the request type a little tweak)
  • There were some funky readings last month as I was just ‘under the weather’ with something the Lymphocytes shot through the roof so clearly the little army was scrapping with something …..
  • Strangely despite a broken big toe last Thursday and what appears to have been norovirus over the course of the weekend everything as returned to pretty much normal
  • Even the naughty thyroid (it really doesn’t want me to eat green vegetables)
  • my lymphocytes however seem to have deserted me ….. I’m used to a few of the little sucker’s cliff diving like lemmings when the fight is done but this seems to have been a mass suicide on the scale of Waco L ……. (whilst I regard lack of normal levels of lymphocytes as a good thing as they’re not eating my Myelin ….. I’m certainly having a ‘raised eyebrow what the heck happened there moment)
  • Broken toe is going for the healing record ….. (currently 10 days to the left wrist scaphoid) at day 5 it’s almost back to normal thanks to a diet of Arnica, Turmeric Supplement, Oxygen Therapy and a bottle of white wine J
Despite all this strangeness, now the Norovirus has buggered off I feel great J
So here you go …. This month’s WTF happened there then blood results J

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