Sunday, 7 February 2021

I've cycled 20k this week, begun a new diet, not left my home and am struggling with 'normal'

 It's been a while but honestly I'm really starting to bore the heck out of myself, Nothings happening for me or anyone else it's just the same beige every day.

I've started dieting again, Lighter Life this time - I will confess I'm doing it the same way I used to do Cambridge though rather than following their rules. It looks like I'm on for over half a stone loss in week one (including a small G&T related wobble on Friday night) so that's good. Unlike my other (many) attempts in recent years, Gareth is actually making an effort to 'do this with me' ...... by that I mean he's made a few concessions and isn't completely rubbing my face in drinks, chips and bread products.

The Recumbent bike has had a bit of a thrashing too, I've done 20km on it so far this week and there's an intention to do at least another 8km on it later today (although the little voice in my head that is probably OCD is telling me to try for 10km so it's a round number)

MS wise well nothings changed I'm on Oc now, I feel no different to how I usually do so I figure thats good - if something was breaking I'd hope I would notice it.

I have had a bit of a mental wellness wobble in recent weeks, I've had part 1 of my vaccine, everyones getting excited about life returning to 'normal'. Going to the Football and Rugby, going to the pub, Farmers Markets and Country Shows, The Good Food Show at the NEC, a Comedy Gig or the Theatre 

The thing is, I realised I've not done many of these things for a long time, not just Covid Times and Lockdown times, I've been pulling back from things like this for many years ---- probably about 7-8 years if I'm honest with myself.

That predates Lemtrada, it even predates my diagnosis ....... My version of normal has somehow been a Tier 2 lockdown protocol for years ...... I hate that. So once again I'm focusing on reducing my weight, building up strength.

I need to do this for me, watching everyone go through lockdown which apart from the going to work thing was pretty much my 'normal' and seeing how it's affected them has made me take a look into the mirror and I can see those thoughts and feelings reflected in me.

So here's the latest vLog ..... my hair is now super long compared to when I started it :) - it's also partly pink, partly ginger and mouse coloured at the roots ..... I'm probably best described as a 'strangely pink tabby'

Hope you're well, safe and taking care

Much love

T



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