Well not MS related that's one of the hardest weeks of my life over and done with. Sunday was Fathers Day which always brings back the loss of my Dad, Tuesday would have been Mums birthday and brings back the loss of Mum, Wednesday was my younger brothers funeral - which just comes with suffocating pain.
Wednesday whilst heart breaking was an amazing day. It was a total celebration of everything my brother was to so many people. I was so very proud to be Ian's sister. To see so very many people who loved Ian come together to say goodbye to him with an incredible Guard of Honour at the church to see him inside - So many people lined the walk way either side while he was carried into the church - normally I wouldn't approve of someone taking pics at a funeral, but I'm so pleased someone got one of this amazing show of respect and love for Ian
I had so many hugs and kisses from so many people, I used about a gallon of anti bacterial gel to clean then off me whilst explaining it wasn't anything personal. I have a sore throat and a bit of a cough but then I spoke more to real live people that day than I have in a VERY long time, I smoked far too many cigarettes and sat outside pretty much most of the day and evening, so I can't blame MS for that or Lemtrada - the only person I can blame for that is me. It was a very long day, I finally got to meet my cousin's fiancé who is another MS'er, she's lovely and I'm so glad they're so happy together.
MS wise, All improvements already reported are still in place, nothing has deteriorated, I'm still 'hot stuff' but that's annoying more than a problem for me. I'm completely n utterly exhausted (please note I'm saying exhausted not Fatigued) I've been running at about 1000% for the last few weeks with Treatment, House move, Losing Ian and everything else and it's simply exhaustion not Fatigue, I know I've done too much, I know I've burnt the candle at both ends and probably a little in the middle too. I've been staying up too late, drinking more wine than I probably should, worrying about what needs to be done, when and who's doing it, worrying about falling to pieces, worrying about why I'm not falling to pieces (Isn't that normal - perhaps there's 2 or 3 things wrong with my brain I have MS and I'm a project manager / cold hearted bitch)
Today I'm working from home (I do this every Friday as I'm too mean to pay the dog walker 5 days a week) I'm waiting on a delivery of new garden furniture and then the oven is being cleaned MS Style - this involves me supervising while a big strong man sits on my kitchen floor and scrubs it on my behalf for the bargain price of £35 - you've gotta save your spoons boys and girls and supervising from a chair with a cup of coffee requires so much less energy :-)
My first batch of test results are back, my MS nurse and Neurologist are both happy with them and my progress post treatment I will post them later when they arrive in my email :-)
The sun is shining, it's a beautiful day in the big scheme of things I have good days and better days, this week has been mostly good days, today is a better day :-)
Love hugs and positive thoughts to you all xxx
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