Thursday 8 October 2020

Oh dear I'm getting worse not better at this

 Why so quiet ...

Well the broken and dislocated toe healed fine, sadly the broken hand / wrist hasn't 

It's still swollen, in a lot of pain and I have no grip - seriously even holding a full cup of coffee is really painful and likely to result in burns.

I've played the BUPA card with the work policy and this week so far I've seen an orthopaedic surgeon who specialises in hand and wrist injuries. Today I've had an MRI

In the intervening time since the injury, I've had more x-rays and a CT scan - looks like theres soft tissue damage (ligaments and stuff) and possibly theres bones that are shattered 'inside' while the outside remains  in tact ... he described it as an 'unbroken egg but the yolk inside is broken' .... really not liking the sound of that.

Apart from that my life has been even more dull and boring than ever, I've left the house once in the last few weeks to pick up a new painting we'd bought and been to the hospital a couple of times and that's it ... no friends, no family, no shopping, not a damn thing.

The right hand injury has completely knackered my ability to do most things. My left hand hasn't been right for years (pun intended) I have no sensation apart from the buzzing that never stops between the two it's made everything so much more difficult that ever. I can't sit and type for too long, holding a phone / iPad and angling my hands hurts too much 

I can't get Bob in or out of the car so I can't go anywhere without Gareth along with me as 'muscle' so I'm effectively trapped at home unless I'm popping to the local Budgens in the car which is small enough I can toddle around it

Honestly though it's just so debilitating and demoralising to have my world shrink to so very small. My head hasn't even really been in a place to deal with the problem (lets face it under any other circumstances I'd have called in the private healthcare weeks ago) I think isolation is finally starting to get to me and instead of reaching out - posting more, recording my silly video's and talking up a storm on FaceTime I feel like I've retreated further into my shell than tried to escape from it.

Okay this is all rather dark isn't it - I'm sorry

Normal services will now be resumed.

It's being fixed the lovely Charles (the orthopaedic god) will be in touch tomorrow to tell me how this can be fixed and I'll be bench pressing Bob by the end of the month (okay that might be a tad optimistic)

I have my Ocrevus dates now, 27/11 and 11/12 (that's proper date format - day/month) so it's going to be a suppressed immune Christmas for me. With Covid on the rise again it's going to be very difficult to spend time up north - it's currently  high risk area with local lockdowns - need to start making some logistical plans for how to manage that really

In other news I'm trying to deal with being overweight again - in my last few weeks of misery I've lost 15lb's - a stone and a smidge - 6.8kg's (depending on your preference for display purposes)

The fight against the flab is in full swing because lets face it all this shit can only be better if I'm not always carrying the weight of my bloody wheelchair with me in everything I do.

I'll do another video soon I promise (I have a massive spot on my left cheek right now - I mean 48 with a spot ... WTF surely that's supposed to be just teenagers right ? )

I hope you're well, taking care and I'm sorry for disappearing for a while

Hey J-Wildy - thanks for the kick up the arse mate - I needed that xxx 

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