NOTE : I do NOT recommend doing this
I did a 'klutzy' - I slipped on mud in the dog walking park whilst trying to hold Winston-Dog and Bella-Pups collars. Logistically because I was bending forwards already the slip them pitched me forwards, heading face first towards a fence post.
It's amazing the speed thoughts go through your head in this situation, they all seem to happen at once
- Oh shit this is gonna hurt
- Oh shit I'm aiming straight at that post
- Oh shit if I slam may face into the ground I will stop before the post
- Mmmmm do I have mud and bark chippings in my mouth?
- Why am I still in the 'praying position' with my face ground into the mud?
- How long have I been here now?
- Why am I still holding the dogs collars did it never occur to me to let go and use them to stop my fall?
- I wonder how bad the damage to my face is gonna be - it kinda stings - a lot
- Why am I still in the 'praying position' with my face ground into the mud? (this is the 2nd time I think this)
- Is there any graceful way to get up from this?
- Why hasn't Gareth come and helped me up yet? (in Gareth's defence he was actually locked on the other side of the fence)
- Has Gareth even seen that I've 'face planted' ?
- Why haven't I let go of the dogs collars and regained the use of my arms yet ?
- Why am I still in the 'praying position' with my face ground into the mud? - 3rd time - I finally start the getting up process.....
In reality all of the above actually took about 30-45 seconds
I have a concussion, some interesting cuts and scrapes to my face, some swelling and surprisingly less bruising than we originally anticipated thanks to what I'm referring to as my lightening fast 'Ninja Skills' and the well timed face plant. I'm pretty sure if my face had hit that post at the angle it hit the ground I'd have shattered my cheekbone, eye socket and probably my jaw .... so all things considered it comes under my 'reasons to be cheerful' header - I'm cheerful that's all it is.
In a puppy chewing frenzy Bella-Pup has decided to gnaw on one of the windowsills in the new kitchen extension (not a conservatory anymore) - she seems as unimpressed with my threats that I will casserole her with onions and garlic as all the other beasts in the house are when I make this threat. So Bitter Apple spray it is for a while then some hard work with sandpaper and repainting when she's grown out of the phase.
Blood test was done last week, results are below for your enjoyment. Thyroid is still 'funky' but I'm taking my one a day for that and apart from that it's all systems are 'normal' which is a lovely way to be.
Live long & prosper and when falling - break the fall with your hands - not your face xxx