Week whatever post R2 - Heartbroken and devastated again

I would put an update of what happened from last weeks post to the weekend, but I honestly can’t remember a thing about last week or what happened before Saturday morning. This is not MS, and no for regular readers, I wasn’t drunk or hung over.

On Saturday my world disintegrated into a million pieces for the 4^th time. I had a message to call a mutual friend about my ‘acquired’ brother Arthur.

Athur has been part of my life for nearly 20 years, we met on my 2^nd day in a new job when I inadvertently set off all the security alarms on the office firewalls by making a typo trying to load up the MSN.com search engine (20 years ago remember – that was state of the art then) For those who haven’t accidentally typed MAN.com …. Well I wouldn’t recommend doing this in the office ….. about 400 pop up windows opened with absolutely the most inappropriate images that should never be viewed on a piece of work equipment.

I was desperately trying to Alt-F4 the pop ups closed when he ran up the stairs to ‘catch the perv at it’ he crashed through the door behind me to find a red faced female in a full blown panic hitting the buttons faster than a kid playing the 100 meters in the ‘Daley Thompson’s Decathlon’ game sweating and swearing and mortified.

That was our introduction, me wanting the earth to open up and swallow me whole and him almost  wetting himself he was laughing so hard at my misfortune – it set the tone really, he loved to tease me and wind me up, getting me to blush and be speechless at the same time was like every badge of achievement rolled into one. He basically decided that I’d ‘Do’ as a little sister and that was just the way it would be, I never really had a choice in the matter.

He was there for me through umpteen relationship breakups before he finally pronounced that ‘Gareth wasn’t bad, he’d do’ Mostly I think because at the time Gareth was still in the Army so he had ‘forces points’ in his favour. It certainly meant at the end of the evening when it was ‘lasties’ time Gareth always got invited for the aged single malt with the ‘vets’ …… me …. Well I was relegated to ‘dinky’ status …. (army wife)

There is a lot we don’t know yet about what happened, I guess that will come in time with the coroners report / inquest results but he was found in the river on Saturday morning.

Once again my world is in a million pieces, my heart hurts so much that it hurts to breathe. I can’t wrap my head around how something like this could have happened to this magnificent, brilliant, brave, geeky, completely daft bugger.

I’ve spent a lot of time contacting people trying to get ahead of when he name is released, spoken to people all over the world, people I’ve not seen or spoken to in many years and I’ve cried so many tears.

Other stuff happened as well, Gareth’s parents came for the weekend and it was lovely to see them, I did Tomahawk for dinner – everyone loved it.

I don’t really know what else to say, it’s all gone horribly wrong.