First things first I'll explain the update title.
I've scratched my right eyeball (AGAIN) I'm pretty sure that it's self inflicted and that I scratched it whilst removing my contact lenses on Wednesday night last week. Unfortunately since my vanity doesn't generally allow me out in public wearing classes I then continued wearing my contacts for another 2 days before I woke up Saturday morning unable to open my very swollen eye and in agony.
A nice combination dose of Ibuprofen a paracetamol helped with the pain and light sensitivity but contact lenses are definitely out for a good while. We had a night out in Reading on Saturday for the lovely Kate's birthday (she'd hate me calling her that and say she's big and tough and mean - but hey she might buy the book of the first year but she's never going to read it so tough luck girl you're lovely). Playing pool with a damaged eye wasn't great (it never is but this time I had an excuse not just - so sorry I'm crap at this) and I did get a few 'looks like you've walked into a door Trace' nudge nudge and wink wink at Gareth sat opposite type comments.
Getting home at 3am wouldn't have been too bad - had I been sensible and gone to bed. Staying up until 5am when it was daylight however was a really stupid thing to do. Sunday was a complete write off, I sat on the sofa all day with only brief movements to the bathroom and the kettle. Fortunately I'd planned Sunday dinner in advance and had the slow cooked pulled Feather Steak ready to just switch on and walk away from.
Apart from a hangover and being very tired Sunday was also Fathers Day. Yet another year when it hit really hard that my Dad is no longer with us. I hope he's up there somewhere looking down on me with Mum and Ian and there's a chorus of 'you stupid bloody woman' being yelled in my direction.
Strangely the thing I miss most is the withering 'good grief how could my child be so dumb / clumsy / stupid / silly' look along with 'you stupid bloody woman' muttered under his breath. Well that and every time my hair is wet and it goes all curly everywhere my Dad still had hair when he died - it's still completely straight on the top where he was balding - should have checked the small print when he said he'd leave me his curls!!! It's weird the things that stick with you - I suppose I should just be grateful the hair on the to of MY head is still in place :-)
Thursday would have been my Mum's birthday so that's going to hurt, Friday is a year since my little brother's funeral last year. I'll apologise in advance if I'm somewhat morose and introspective this week. I feel like my whole world is crumbling to pieces again. I know it's only temporary I just need to get through the week and it will be okay (if I wasn't playing sleep catch up it would probably be easier). Right now there seems to be a lead weight in my chest and my heart hurts, I cry at anything that reminds me of them all.
So ....... I back in work this morning, it's officially the first day of British Summer Time and the fickle British weather has decided that to honour this Berkshire needs a Monsoon. It's been throwing it down all day and shows no sign of letting up.
I've called up this morning for my blood results from Friday's monthly stabbing and they're back but haven't been reviewed by my Doctor yet so they can't tell me them - hilarious really as Dr F gets me to do interviews with all the Baby Dr's who come to the surgery to teach them about the treatment I've had (after I taught him about it too)
Hopefully blood results later :-)
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